12th Session

Tomorrow is Wednesday and for the "first" time in a while, I am not heading to Red Deer. I say "first" in quotations, because realistically I had taken a break during Christmas and one week when I was sick. 

Anyway, last Wednesday was the final session of my 12 week program, so I should be 100% cured right? Well...not quite. Think of it as a journey, and while I am no longer at the beginning of my journey, and I have moved many steps forward, I still have a ways to go before I reach my destination. In fact, think of it like a deep sea dive, where I am submerged underwater but still have many levels to go before I reach the goal of the sea floor.

Since I had paid for the group sessions, I now have the option of joining any group for only $149 (a fraction of the original sign up cost). I have two issues with that. One, would be that I would need to continue driving to Red Deer to participate. It worked out fairly conveniently that Tyler was off work for the entirety of my program before and thus I could easily and guilt-free live Dexter at home and spend the day working on me. However, Tyler should be returning to work as soon as he finds something appropriate so I would need to secure a sitter either in Leduc or Red Deer both with their own pro's & con's. I also feel that the 3 hour round trip commute could be applied to other avenues of my goal such as working out, self awareness work, meditating, etc.

My second reason, one just as strong, is that I would be literally REPEATING the program. While I see some benefit to repeating some of the lessons (as they are not yet ingrained), to me it seems somewhat of a failure to repeat it. Also, knowing myself, I would be way less passionate about my committment the second time around. I expressed my concerns to the business owner (and my coach), Jen and suggested that they could possibly come up with different "levels" for the program. Like I would be interested in repeating some of the self work, but I don't need to repeat the nutrition info, and other physicological aspects.

I feel the coaching part is vitally important to success so I don't really want to lose that.  I'm in the process of trying to work out what I would like to get from the program and what Jen can offer me with her right now. No news yet on how we are going to move forward.

In the meantime, I have 3 daily goals for January, to help me continue moving forward on my health journey:

-5 minutes of exercise,

-1 glass of water,

-and in bed by 12:30am.

So far, I am failing miserably. My psuedo-break from routine from being sick and the holidays have really thrown a wrench in my ambitions. I need to re-evaluate my goals and what obstacles are getting in my way.  However, I have to admit that my aspirations are leaning a little more towards spring cleaning and organizing at the moment...and I have been doing fairly well at that!

I still really want to go to New York and I received some compliments from others (my masseuse, my Grandma, Tyler) about my body lately and how I seem to be losing weight (possibly emotional weight), so I am still motivated to continue applying myself.

One more note, at the very beginning of this program - actually before the program, when I went in for my first consultation - I confessed to the girl I met with that I wasn't sure that I was ready to begin this journey. I wasn't sure if I was mentally prepared to apply myself as I had spent the last 2 years-ish running away from any sort of structured program focusing on weight. Looking back to where I was in September to where I am now, I am really glad I took that leap of faith with MindBody FX. While I still don't 100% agree with it's entire philosophy, I am very grateful for what it has done for me so far :-)