Trying Again

Within the first few hours of losing Wentworth, I had thought I would never want to try to get pregnant again. The emotional pain was unbearable and I couldn't imagine taking the risk that I may have to go through that another time. However, it was before I even left the hospital that day that I realized I wanted another child and that I was willing to take that risk. Figuring out the timing was another story.

 

The first 3 months I felt almost desperate to be pregnant again. Luckily, there were some delays such as medical testing and giving the body time to heal that also allowed my mind to heal. I was very aware that I didn't want to jump into pregnancy and have a "rebound baby" so I'm thankful for that time. The testing took a while and the results were subjective so I was left feeling a bit unsure of when I should try again. My first personal hurdle was to wait until the anniversary of the date we conceived Wentworth passed. I didn't want to have to deal with a due date that was the same or similar as his or his birth date. I think that was about early May? Then I was good to go...problem: Tyler wasn't.

 

It took a while... Lots of conversations that seemed to go in circles, but then on our last camping trip at the beginning of September, Tyler spontaneously announced that he was cool with us trying to get pregnant again. I was pretty ecstatic but didn't want to talk about it too much for fear he would change his mind LOL He can be a fickle one. He works out of town so I'm not sure how long it will take to conceive. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but that's pretty much impossible. I decided to buy a ovulation test kit this month to get a better idea of when I personally ovulate. Tyler's enthusiasm was put to the test when he came home this past weekend and found my ov kit on the counter. I told him I had a 'smiley face' meaning I was suppose to ovulate within the next 48 hours (meaning if you want to conceive, now's a good time to have sex). He actually agreed to it and seemed excited (and I don't mean about the chance to have sex ha ha). So, that makes me really happy. I was/am very determined to bring this next baby into a happy relationship and I need a hubby who's on board for another baby in order to do that. I'm so glad he has come around! Now, I just need some luck and baby dust and hopefully it won't take us too long to get knocked up.