Monday, October 4, 2010

Part 2 of "Girl who cried (skinny) wolf" - Sept 29/10

Today I had my free session at “MindBody FX” the missing link to permanent weight loss. It’s been 6 weeks since I got the book and coupon for the free session and I’ve read all of…one chapter of the book. Why? One could agrue that my desire to get healthy isn’t strong enough. That I’m too lazy. That I’m “too busy”. Basically, I just didn’t feel in the mood or in the right place to read the book. During my session today we discussed that and how I feel I’m not “ready” and the counsellor asked “When will you be ready?”. My answer “probably never”.

It’s the sad truth. Right now, I just don’t have the confidence and faith that I will EVER be that healthy, fit, balanced person that I want to be. But, as the consellor poined out, perhaps I just need to start this journey, take small steps, and eventually I will get there.

I have never been good at delayed gratification. If I want something, I want it now. If I’m craving a particular food, I don’t want it tomorrow or next week. If I hear of a movie or book that sounds interesting, I run out and get it. However, I am recognizing this flaw and trying to build delayed gratification into my life. I’m trying to plan more and be impulsive less. But again, it’s a journey.

To get started with the MindBody FX program, I had a few choices. The one I opted for, includes the following:

-12 weekly 1 hour group sessions (in Red Deer unfortunately),

-12 weekly check-in sessions with a counsellor,

-the MindBody FX program (which included 7 audio CDs, a workbook, a journal, 1 yoga DVD & 1 meditation CD).

I could have opted for a program that was just 1-on-1 (so I wouldn’t have to travel) but it was more expensive and I think in the long run I think I’ll get more growth and accountablity from being involved in the group sessions. My first session is Wednesday, Oct 13 @ 2pm and I am really looking forward to this. I’ve been searching for a program/system that focuses on the inner work that is needed for weight loss rather than just on eat this, move that. This program does not sell food or focus on supplements. And they claim to really want you to be successful on your own (whereas most programs do better when you’re not successful, and keep coming back for more).

I don’t “know” that this will work, but I know what results I will get if I don’t try it. And if I don’t keep trying, I will never suceed. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again!

We touched on a few key thoughts during my session. One of them being that I have felt overweight since at least 9 years old. That is about 20 years of negative feelings. These won’t be overcome overnight.

I really am limited by my weight (whether strictly by my perception or reality). I want to share with you, some of the things that motivate me, to get healthy and fit:

-I want to look forward to travelling, without being overly worried about the discomfort of an airplane seat,

-When I am in other countries and enviroments, I don’t want my activities limited by my lack of fitness,

-I want to set a healthy example to my child(ren), he (they) don’t deserve to have the same hang-ups I do,

-I want to be confident in my skills and abilities and not be worried about how my appearance may be allowing others to pre-judge me,

-I want to do ANYthing I want to, without having my appearance/weight hold me back.

I also saw an ad for a fitness class that is specifically geared for people who have 50+ lbs to lose and is modified for them. I plan on calling them tomorrow to learn more about it.

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